the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
