so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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