I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
