Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
