Im at strip club and am horny
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
So squirting runs in the family.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
