Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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