thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I booty called her while she was in labor.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
