All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
