Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Randomize
