I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
