I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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