i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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