oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
