what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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