Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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