Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
