I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
