Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
