he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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