dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
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