I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize
