Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
