Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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