i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Swine flu. Run for my life!
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
