found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
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