so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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