I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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