You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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