Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
