Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
