I didn't shave. On purpose
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
