By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
