God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize