I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Pants are for mortals
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
