i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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