dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Randomize
