I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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