the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
The beers last night were like the tears from god
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
