when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
