I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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