I heard we made out
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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