Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
