its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Randomize
