i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
