I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
