Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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