I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
