All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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