I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Four minutes until I can fart!
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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