dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
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