Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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